The sun is up. It’s already Saturday; my mind is telling me I should be getting some well deserved sleep, but my heart is heavy. I bunked at Angie’s place last night, haven’t been doing that since… a long long time back.
I remembered
I was like a permanent resident at Angie’s when we were studying for our dip. Love her cosy little room, her bed, my designated blue bear pillow, her scary low ceiling fan which I’ve always fear would one day dropped itself and cut off my head?!??!!, the low kitchen basin, her mum’s voice, secretly snacking away along with Fabian on $10 worth of tibits!!!, Campbell soup rice, the studying and going “high” at our relevant wee hours, the “horrifying” chicken wings smell at 4am, the compulsive pubbing at our favorite joint; Europa East Coast, all Europa clubs and conquered the whole of ol’Clarke Quay, the u-read-i-memorise kind of method for exams, DIY mini first aid bag comprising chocolate bars, axe oil, pocky and tissues … … how far we’ve come and how without her i wouldn’t be who I am.
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My childhood. I have very doting parents and an uncle Victor, my father’s elder brother, who pampered me madly. Having everything and anything I wanted as a kid. I never had to choose between toy A or toy B cos I’ll get both. I had the best of everything. Hello Kitty school bag, kerokerokeroppi pencil case, lotsa Barbie dolls and I mean LOTS say 10 Barbies and 2 Kens, heaps of Lego, doll houses, smurfs, strawberry shortcakes, ample of toys. I’m a happy kid. Traveled a lot when my bro and I were kids and we hated it. We hated how mummy would always force us to smile and pose for the camera. Haha… guess we didn’t know how to appreciate that then and how lucky we were. My dad discovered I had a thing for music and at the age of 6, I started learning electron organ. I was so good at it I even “jumped” a few grades from the basic grade 13 to 10! U know what? I couldn’t read notes and nobody knew it till 1 day, my teacher got us playing the read-the-notes game. Guess how shock my teacher was when she found out! I can easily memorized the tune and played it out just like that. It’s a pity I stopped during my ‘O’s as it clashes with my grade 7 exam and I flunked, for the 1st time, because I couldn’t practice nor concentrate enough. The point is, Im really thankful and felt really lucky. When the rest of my classmates were still practicing on the black and white paper keyboard, my uncle got me an organ. Back in the early 80’s when $100 is like the $500 now; uncle didn’t even hesitate and got me my $3000+ organ. I’m still keeping the organ and playing it on and off. I wouldn’t sell it cos it means a lot to me. I love you uncle.
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My daddy. I remembered how I would always climb up his bed when I was a little gal and snuggled beside him while he was reading his letters and documents. I would always ask him: “Daddy, why are u so sad?” and he would always answer: “Gal, you are still very young. When u grow up, u’ll understand.” He wasn’t sad as I remembered, but was looking stern and serious while reading his documents. I guess ‘sad’ was the only few words in my dictionary then. Daddy loves me a lot and I remembered how he pretended to be caning the table while I pretended to be crying away; “a show” for mummy cos she wanted Daddy to cane me as I made her angry. How nervous daddy was sitting outside, waiting for me when Im having my organ exam inside the room; he never fails to personally take me there and waited for all my organ exams despite his busy schedule. That is his way of supporting and cheering for me. How daddy would always buy me an Enid Blyton storybook each week after my organ lessons and each time before buying it he would go: “Gal, can you read slower? Daddy no $$ already.” How I can always talk to daddy about everything and anything; I cried madly on my dad’s shoulder after my breakup with my 1st bf of 2yrs. How I broke his heart when I said the nastiest things straight to his face. I am very sorry daddy and I really regretted my actions. I was young and ignorant then. You taught me well and I know u are proud of me. No amount of words can express my thanks and gratitude to u daddy.
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And that brings me to the thought of being a child again; where ignorance is bliss, and the only concern one could ever have, was whether a dream Barbie would be wrapped up for Christmas, or would chocolate cake be served for desert.
